ZRaF (Zak,Rene and Friends)

Chaos, Chill, and Contraband Chronicles

• Zak and Rene • Season 1 • Episode 3

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In this episode, we explore the chaotic journey of sports discussions, personal anecdotes, and laughter with our guest Brett. From reflecting on the NBA All-Star Game to sharing wild prison stories, we delve into the unexpected and entertaining aspects of life. 
• Guest Brett shares insights on sports and personal experiences 
• Discussion on the evolution of the NBA All-Star Game 
• Exploration of gambling culture in prison 
• Engaging "Hot Takes" segment on current players and contracts 
• Brett recounts memorable moments from incarceration

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Bob:

RGH Creative. It's like watching a car crash, but with jokes and fuckery. It's like a group chat, but with microphones and fewer regrets. It's like karma, but without the satisfaction.

Zak:

It's like a group text, but you can't mute us.

Rene:

It's like mixing Red Bull with NyQuil. Chaotic energy with chill vibes.

Bob:

It's like buying organic food but still microwaving it. Two minds, endless ideas.

Rene:

Absolutely no energy with chill vibes. It's like buying organic food but still microwaving it. Two minds, endless ideas, absolutely no research.

Bob:

This is the z-wrap podcast all right, all right, all right.

Rene:

This is would be, technically, episode three. I'm rena. I got zach over there and today I don't have my drumroll handy. We got a one of zach's friends. I've met him a few times. His name's brett.

Brett:

Brett say hello what up, guys, my name's?

Rene:

brett, all right, all right, yeah, that's brett. Uh, this is not one of them alcoholic meetings, bro, you can be more open?

Brett:

I'll probably yeah, okay cool, I didn't know no judgment here.

Rene:

My dude yeah, but uh, so we got. Let's see what's today.

Zak:

Today is the. I believe it's the 16th. Let me double check that it is. It is yeah.

Rene:

This is zach, by the way ball zach, and today is sunday and we double checked that it is Sunday, it's not Thursday.

Zak:

Oh yeah, it was Valentine's Day.

Rene:

Valentine's Day was Friday, but I bet you didn't even realize we said that in episode two until just now, because you're a stupid ass, just kidding. We love our listeners.

Zak:

He said that not me, All right.

Rene:

So let's do a.

Zak:

I didn't mean it's the next day, yet I don't give a fuck If I didn't go to sleep.

Rene:

it's still the same day. Yeah, I got to go to sleep and wake up for the day to change.

Brett:

Yeah, I agree with that. Fuck three days until the all-star break ends.

Rene:

Thank the high that somewhere later.

Bob:

What a first guest. Right now. We mentioned it, guys. This is the intervention, bro, the other but and then everybody comes in with the camera. Come on, guys, chris hansen comes around the corner. Yeah, that's the wrong intervention.

Brett:

I gotta go, I gotta go. I'll see y'all later. It's okay. It's okay.

Rene:

The police are outside waiting for me no, we did, but uh yeah, so the all the all-star game you talking about basketball?

Brett:

oh yeah, basketball I think it's today, right, zach? Yeah, they still do a dunk contest.

Zak:

Yeah, the dunk contest already happened, but no great players ever want to do it. The person that keeps winning the dunk contest is this dude named Mac McClung. He's a.

Rene:

YouTuber right, Is it?

Zak:

McClung, mcclung, mcclung. No, he's not a YouTuber, but he probably played like four nba games in his career.

Rene:

But he can dunk though. Yeah, he can dunk crazily. I didn't know they let anybody go in. I thought you had to be. I thought it was an nba all-star game.

Zak:

You got to be an nba player well, I guess g league players can do it now.

Brett:

I think he's rostered on like one of their minor league systems or whatever, like the g league.

Zak:

Yeah, so that means then he can do it. But uh, I did see that. Uh, who was it?

Brett:

jaw morant said that he might be interested in doing it going forward and so did yannis I saw that too and jock and throw down some crazy dunks.

Zak:

So that would be really cool you can also throw down some guns too.

Rene:

They just don't want to do it because they, uh, they don't want to do it because they can get hurt and shit right and at risk, because they're like a, they're a brand now, they're not just a dude.

Zak:

Yeah I mean I guess there's no quote, unquote positive to doing it in a lot of their eyes.

Rene:

I mean you know doing it, I guess, for the fans, but I mean, do they all give a shit?

Zak:

I mean, yeah, fuck, I miss the days of vince carter competing in the dunk contest and shit. Yeah, our game was like a big deal, yeah yeah, now it's.

Brett:

It's not even worth anything because I think back in the day I'm not sure if this was just baseball, but I think the nba all-star game also. Uh, if a game down to a game seven in the finals, whoever won um would, they would have that home court for the seventh game see, honestly I don't remember is the all-star games.

Rene:

Are they like in like? Is it like the super bowl, where they're in like a like, a different? Spot or okay it doesn't go to like a certain player. Yeah, it's different. Yeah, different every year.

Zak:

But uh, I mean shit. The all-star games were better when there was defense played in them, when they actually cared about the game. Shit when they wore their own jersey in the game.

Rene:

Those were the days so from what you're describing to me, what it sounds like is like the little, like the puppy bowl that they do before the Super Bowl, where it's like Peyton Manning and Eli Manning played a flag football game which before the Super Bowl it was like a little advertisement thing.

Zak:

That's all it was. It's just money grab. Oh, the field goal shit yeah.

Rene:

And that's all they did, yeah, and then for like the whole Super Bowl, I saw, like I think, three or four commercials of Eli just saying I beat my big brother.

Brett:

Yeah, that was cool. It's just marketing and for the way to for the NBA to make money off their jerseys. Yeah, but.

Rene:

I bet the NBA is pissed that none of the good players want to play. No more, you're not going to watch it. Y'all are the guys they want to watch it for a while.

Zak:

In general right, but oh yeah, they didn't fix the nba all-star game.

Rene:

They didn't fix a lot of things what was their way of fixing it.

Bob:

Trading luca yeah good job.

Rene:

Yeah, that's how you do it. Like the nfl uh, what's taylor swiss, say? The nfl? Like no, that woman is, she's our era. Is michael jackson like for real? Like people faint when they see her. I've read about it and uh, like she she goes. When she had her world tour she went to, like she went to a smaller country or whatever and changed their economy with how she went there. Because she went there and the money that she spent, the money she brought to it, the money that she cost it.

Zak:

I'm not surprised she changed the economy.

Rene:

People were putting loans on their houses to take their kids to her concerts.

Zak:

What was that? The Eros tour. Let me see Eros tour.

Rene:

Shout out T-Swift. T-swift.

Zak:

Yeah, my daughter's a huge Taylor Swift fan.

Rene:

You can tell we're having her on, just kidding.

Zak:

I actually got her her autograph.

Rene:

Really, that was one of the gifts I got her.

Zak:

It was only like 50 bucks I think. It was the autographed record. Damn. Taylor Swift's era tour grossed $2 billion.

Brett:

Yeah, that's gross, that's gross. That's impressive. So am I hearing? This is taylor swift's official invite to the pod. Yeah sure, oh yeah, yeah, she can come but fuck kelsey no, I'm just kidding, I like him.

Bob:

He's cool. Travis, he's actually really cool I've seen.

Rene:

I like his brother better though, but um, he just, he's more of a redneck. He's more of a redneck, bro. I mean he's kind of like kelsey had his high taper fade days man, I don't know what. He went like polar opposite.

Zak:

He got him a black chick do you know who he played he? Was zach attacking, you know do you know who he played for?

Brett:

he also. He also, didn't he just shove his coach last year or something, or wasn't that a couple years ago?

Rene:

yeah, I do remember that first of all, he's a he's a superstar athlete. He's gonna have an ego, and that's they. They're gonna have egos because he's one of the best in the league, so he's gonna act like it. That's just how he is. Yeah, that's how all of them are. You know like they're gonna have conflicts and confrontations, like luca fighting the refs all the time, making us lose the championship because he wanted to shove a ref. Wait, when did he shove a ref? Yeah, no, no he was yelling at a ref.

Rene:

Yeah, he does that expecting the bench to challenge something was obviously his fuck up did y'all notice?

Zak:

brett went silent once he started talking about it's still too soon. Yeah, it's still too soon it's too soon for all of us, bro today, like I said, we got brett as one of Zach's friends.

Rene:

I don't know, I think you met him on a grinder or something like that. Yeah, we're going to start it off by just you know, introduce yourself, brett. What do you do? We don't care about your vices. You don't got to say you're an alcoholic. We know what do you do.

Brett:

Yeah, I'm Brett Right now Play disc golf. I used to play it pretty often and try to make money doing it, so I'm trying to get back on my grind and do that. I like the sports gamble. I'm a huge sports enthusiast. I love the Rangers, the Stars, the Mavericks.

Rene:

That's it, just the Rangers and the Stars. Just like everybody, you lived in Arlington your whole life.

Brett:

No, I grew up in Mansfield.

Rene:

Oh, okay, yeah, so you lived in, you live in Texas.

Brett:

That's why you're a diehard fan. Yeah, for sure.

Rene:

What do you think about Zach?

Bob:

Oh, he's a piece of shit.

Rene:

He's a piece of shit you go. I don't know what happened today on the way here. Everything go all right. Anything weird, anything funny, anything stupid.

Brett:

You were with Zach though. Yeah, well, this morning around 6.30, my buddy and andi we went disc golfing. So nice, we played around, but you know we had something happen you know interesting on the way home we were in dow, worthington gardens oh no, dwg, stay away from there, and then if anybody knows anybody about that place that's in the dfw area.

Brett:

It's hot the laws will just pull you over for anything, so my buddy came up on a red light and then the cop was our to our right, I think, going north. But he was in the turning lane and my buddy, he didn't see him. So he kind of did like a rolling stop, even though it was questionable whether he stopped. California roll, yeah, but questionable in Dow Worthington Gardens means getting pulled over.

Rene:

Yeah, they pull you over for doing like two over the limit.

Brett:

All of a sudden we took the right and then there was another one that came right behind them and then so we're just driving down the road trying to get, you know, to a gas station or something to pull over, because you know we play disc golf and we like to smoke a little pot or whatever.

Bob:

You know just allegedly you know, allegedly you know, but I don't know so what happens, so you're still here.

Rene:

It's like obviously didn't stop you yeah, so they didn't stop us.

Brett:

You know, two cars ended up getting in front of us, so, and then we ended up pulling off into a quick trip and then, when we walked out of the quick trip, that same cop had another car pulled over.

Zak:

So we got lucky you know the universe was on our side today, so that dwg cop, if you can hear this, fuck you. We have him here, yeah we have him here.

Rene:

Yeah, we're here to collect the reward. Come get it yeah five we got away this time yeah, jokes on you fucko, but yeah, I mean shit.

Zak:

So sounds like a good day zach.

Rene:

Anything funny happened when you did. You get stopped and nearly pulled over today as well actually I did not I I mean, today's been a pretty chill day.

Zak:

I went to church this morning, online worship, yeah, worship, praise the lord and uh, besides that, you know, got ready for this listen to the podcast.

Rene:

You know, I was up to like three. I was up to like 3 30 I don't know something like that trying to get episode 2 uploaded, which is live now. Um, you're hearing this. I I would expect you to have listened to it at least 15 times.

Bob:

Um, if you haven't, fuck you I'm just kidding, but uh, yeah, but I don't care, let's do it once.

Rene:

I'll listen to it at all, but you're listening to this one, so jokes on you. So when? So we got Brett, we got Zach. Me and Zach are always going to be here, brett, we're probably never going to have him back. Yeah, I'm just kidding, no, but let's.

Zak:

Comment if you like Brett. Yeah, comment if you like Brett. Comment more, if you dislike me.

Brett:

I will put you on Just to keep me off the show.

Rene:

No, but he seems cool, he seems knowledgeable fanatic, I can tell from that. So that's perfect for zach uh brett. Question for you if you could uh, I don't know, let's say, if you could swap lives with any one person, who would it be and for what?

Brett:

man, that's. That's a great question. You know there's a lot of people you could consider like some, like oil money head, you know out in the middle eastern. You know, jerry jones, you know, but I think I don't know. My first thought came to my mind. Mind was Paul Skeen, so I'll just roll with that, paul.

Bob:

Skeen. Yeah, who's?

Brett:

Paul Skeen, Skeens, yeah, Skeens. He was a rookie pitcher for the Pittsburgh Pirates last year and he was really popular. And he has an extremely popular girlfriend who's a gymnastic she's hot, yeah, she's hot. I don't remember I don't remember, to be honest, but she has a really big following, like Taylor Swift. So I kind of like that they're all getting eyes on the game of baseball, because I'd say probably baseball is my favorite sport.

Zak:

Okay, cool, and I did do some. It is Olivia Dunn.

Rene:

Olivia Dunn Go ahead Dover. Yeah, olivia Dunn.

Zak:

Yeah, we got to google Olivia Dunn so I mean, are we supposed to answer that question too? So yeah, go ahead, yeah, go ahead. If I had to trade places with one person that's tough, it would be Dirk Nowitzki why, because, so you can be 55 year old and have to get a prostate exam. So I could be a hall of famer with the MVP trophy and a finals MVP, and be a top 15 player ever that's valid.

Rene:

But I mean I guess, yeah, you can answer the question however you wanted to answer it. It's actually different, different answers. Yours is because you want to be somebody that has that rapport, like like his accolades and stuff like that I was. Whenever I heard the question, I was thinking more like I like I don't want to be like juicy jay for a day, to go out and get fucked up, you know, and like slap people and drop hard R's if I wanted to. No, I'm just kidding. No, but you can like do anything you want. And I want to be DJ because I signed myself.

Rene:

No, he just seems like he's having a fun life, like that'd be fun, you know, go out and get fucked up and just not worry about nothing. Like I got bill money, I got fuck you money. I've been rapping for 20 snoop dog, for he's gonna be cool. That's a good one. Just smoke a bunch of weed all day and just fucking chill, make music. He turned himself into a household name, so much so that he made crip, something that regular people can say people crip walk on national tv and it'd be okay. That's a gang, you know what I mean. Like that the super. But uh, he's got it on tv, man, that's badass. Good for him. Like he's everywhere, bro, he's definitely whoever's the marketing team is. They definitely need to be paid more than 10%.

Zak:

Speaking of what's on TV, I just saw a crazy wreck in Daytona.

Rene:

Was that a wreck at?

Zak:

Daytona. That's what it looks like. I guess that was a little earlier.

Rene:

And so yeah, we did discuss the.

Zak:

We went over Daytona 500 last week, so we are watching that right now and guess what? The weather is winning Nobody is.

Rene:

It's the weather. Delay, let's go. Weather. Looks like the weather won against that car right there. It blew shit all over.

Zak:

Yeah, I don't know what the fuck happened there. Yeah, so we got four TVs up, guys. We got the Daytona 500. We got A&M baseball game up 11 to 1. We love to see that. We have the North Carolina women's basketball against North Carolina State you know it's a rivalry, right. And then golf, the Genesis and Invitational. Unfortunately, Tiger Woods is not playing in it. Rest in peace to Tiger's mom. But, Scotty, we're going for you, bubby. All right, and that was sports Sports.

Bob:

Sports with the jackass, no with an asshole.

Rene:

Yeah, if you subscribe for $3 a month, you get access to that so you can listen to it. And my nudes and a picture of his asshole whoa, we were just doing pics, but I don't know whoa, now it's a full spread.

Rene:

Where's that bleep button at? We're going to use that fucking bleep button again here in a minute. Another question I guess this time I'll start with zach. What's your, uh, like your guilty pleasure? Like me, I like to watch friends, and you know it's not really guilty because I'll tell everybody. You know, pivot, pivot, it's funny, I just watch, I can fall asleep to it, like roseanne. Like what's your guilty pleasure? Besides Britney Spears, what do you like?

Zak:

oh, shit, that's a tough one. Uh, I'm gonna go with the show Reba.

Rene:

Reba yeah, that's not bad. So what do you like? You watch it like every day.

Zak:

I mean, I used to at one point. So, uh, when I used to go to my grandma's house after the bus stop every day, it's just always be on. So I used to, you know, watch that show, always found it funny.

Rene:

And then, uh, when it got onflix, you know, started fucking with the heart my kid loves that show yeah when I hear reba, I think the little rascal, because the whole point of the whole movie they were trying to find out, they were trying to be like this racer and she always had her helmet on. Gotta be like the racer.

Brett:

And at the end she took her helmet off and it'm going to be 100%. I don't even know what that show is.

Zak:

Reba.

Brett:

Yeah, I've never even heard of her.

Zak:

Do you know who Reba McIntyre is?

Brett:

Yeah, I think I've heard of her Redhead.

Zak:

Redhead country star comments about that.

Rene:

I really don't know about what.

Zak:

Oh yeah, no, for sure, yeah you're right, it was between that and mean girls, but I feel like everybody likes mean girls. This is great twilight.

Rene:

I got you beat twilight because I got nieces. Remember that I'm an uncle many times over. I got nieces and I would take all three of them to go see it.

Zak:

You went with me a few times, but this is where we admit that we read all four. I read the books too, yeah, yeah, because I'm linguistic. Yeah, but you us? Yeah, I'm linguistic.

Rene:

But you know, I was totally Team Jacob too. Fuck Edward, that dude looks like a fucking pedophile.

Zak:

I was hoping that would never come out about me, that I read all four Twilight books but fuck.

Rene:

The only person that's going to hate on you is a motherfucker that can't read four Twilight books.

Zak:

And it's because our whole family read it made it through like four or five so far, but I've seen all of them, the books.

Rene:

I've read all the books too. Yeah, they got big they got pretty fucking massive, like they got thick no, those are some legend movies yeah, no, they're good and they're still good, you know, yeah, they're still good I mean they hold up to the day yeah, some of them were.

Rene:

Some of them were good too, like the the new ones they they had. Johnny depp is one of the bad guys, but then he went through all that shit where amber heard lied on him, so they like kicked them off of it and had some other dude come in and fill it. They should have just stopped it because he did a good job. He did a real good job. The second one where they replaced him was ass. Who do you play?

Rene:

again grindelwald oh yeah, he was the voldemort before voldemort yeah, he wanted to kill humans like humans should serve wizard. Anyway, that's a harry potter segment, so yeah yeah, we love you, harry potter, let's do uh yeah, what's your guilty pleasure, bro. Bro, I would say I love One Direction the band.

Brett:

I like a couple of their songs, and then also for the last two years well, it's been a couple months really, like two years or so. I've watched every day Days of Our Lives and General Hospital when it came on TV around 12.

Rene:

So soap operas?

Brett:

Yeah, it's like soap operas. Yeah, that's good.

Rene:

That's what happens. When you don't have anything to do to pass the time, you're going to watch whatever's on.

Zak:

I used to watch One Tree Hill and shit. Yeah, what's the other one, dawson's Creek? Yeah, I watched.

Rene:

Buffy. My dad watched Buffy. Buffy was good.

Zak:

Angel, angel, not going to be like as good as the original touche normally it's not, and I don't know man, the originals was good.

Rene:

That's another guilty pleasure, see I've never vampire diary I'll date a chick that was into that big time and I remember I think I fell asleep one time when she was watching it and I got I woke up and it was some one of the originals what's like the original vampires and he was super, super powerful vampire character, whatever and he just like wrecked everything in the room and that's what I woke up to and I'm like this show's fucking awesome.

Rene:

That guy just destroyed everything and that's what it was, so that's why I started watching the originals.

Zak:

I might have to fuck with that. It's okay, but I stopped watching the Vampire Diaries a long time ago. But this was supposed to be a guilty pleasure.

Rene:

It turned into a lot of our whole life's a guilty pleasure. I like sports too, bitch. Yeah, I drink a Bud Light. Oh wait, not a Bud Light, no, no, I drink a Coors. I drink a Coors. No, Bud Light's okay again. Oh, they made it okay.

Zak:

Yeah, Kid Rock drank it.

Rene:

Oh okay, naked paycheck you know.

Rene:

Hey, then the rednecks with that event yeah sponsored today's episode, sponsored by monster trucks, yeah, um. So yeah, it looks like the guilty pleasures ended up turning into like a guilty segment man, and to be honest, I'm I don't think we feel very guilty about it, kind of like you know, if you don't like it, fuck me up then. But on that note, I think I'm gonna pass it on to zach. I think he wants to play a game. No jigsaw with his, uh, with his, with his butt, buddy, I mean Brett.

Brett:

No, pulling dicks out, oh yeah.

Rene:

Please, no, whoa, who told you that? Bro, we're totally okay with that. All right, let's do. Okay. So what about? Would you rather? Would you do that? Don't give him like? Would you rather get your skin peeled off or have him pull your?

Bob:

toenails out.

Rene:

He did that shit to me the other day. He did from the inside out, or just peel your skin off. One of them was would you rather have a paper?

Brett:

cut on the eyeball or swallow three needles yeah, that's what it was. I said paper cut my eyeballs, you gotta pass the needles. Yeah, that's true.

Zak:

Yeah, give me some good ones that oh zach, all right, brett, would you rather have a rewind button in your life or a pause button?

Brett:

well, he's been to prison, so and why, I've been to prison, so the the pause, I've already seen that, so definitely a rewind, absolutely.

Zak:

And why?

Brett:

Why? Because I've done a lot of stuff that I regret or not regret, but just disappointed that I did and I can maybe change you know everything that happens leads us to where we are right.

Zak:

So if you took all that back, then you wouldn't know all that you know now.

Brett:

I mean, I guess that's true, but my only two options were pause and rewind, that's a valid answer.

Zak:

So I almost turned this into a counseling session.

Rene:

That's a valid answer.

Zak:

All right For the next one.

Brett:

would you rather never have to sleep again or never have to eat again, allegedly I would probably say never have to eat again, because me I really need sleep, sleep is free.

Rene:

Sleep is free. That's true. That's a good answer, yeah, because I mean because eating, you gotta take time for that, and yet sleep's fun. Sleep's like a concentration recharge. Anytime I spend a big amount of money, I need to take a nap. I'm tired. You want to see me tired. Make me spend some money, oh yeah. I want to go to sleep wake up and forget I spent it, or maybe there's more money.

Zak:

And sleep is also just like a good. It's up there with it. That's first. Occasionally, allegedly, allegedly, yeah, go ahead. So this one is a sports related one. So would you rather be the best player on a losing team or the worst player on a winning team?

Brett:

um, that's a tough question. I would probably say, like just not knowing any background on it, like what part of my career I'm in, like if I'm an older player, I would probably say like the best player on my team to maybe be able to have a chance to go somewhere and win a championship or bring a championship culture, you know, to that team that was the deepest answer do you?

Rene:

are you really winning, though, if you're like the suckiest player on the team, like you're just there, right?

Brett:

gonna be? Are you gonna be Dwight Powell on the Mavericks bench? I mean, you still get a ring though, right?

Zak:

I mean you still get a ring. But yeah, I mean I agree with what he said. I think I'd rather be the worst player or the best player I'm sorry, on the worst team because I'm going to average, you know, 25 points, six rebounds, eight assists. Be an all-star. Fucking. Go sign a big free agent contract, right, what I look like playing 10 minutes a game, averaging five points.

Brett:

I have a question for you, Zach. Would you rather win an MVP or win a finals?

Zak:

Damn. Well, without knowing what stage of my career no, I'm just joking I would say that's a tough one. So are you saying like MVP, or finals MVP, or just MVP, or?

Brett:

finals champion, just season MVP one time or one finals.

Zak:

Damn. I'm going to take the championship, we take the ring, yeah, but I'd still rather be the best player on the worst team. Maybe I can lead them to a ring, just kidding, anyways. So, uh, that's, would you rather? The last one I'm gonna ask is would you rather be a mavs fan or kill yourself?

Brett:

oh, at this point, besides, definitely I'm just joking it's still the luka thing yeah it hurts too yeah, what is your final thoughts on the luca trade?

Zak:

and I'm sure, all right now, so would you rather is finished, guys. And now we're gonna take it over to one that really sounds like fun, where we get to get our steven a smith skip bayless on. We're gonna play a game called hot takes, only where, uh, you know, we just give hot takes. So, brett, give us your hottest take of the day. Hottest take of the day.

Brett:

Ooh, hottest take of the day. I got plenty, but I don't know.

Zak:

No, I mean, you can give more than one.

Brett:

Yeah, we got the baseball season coming up though the MLB one of my favorite times of the year and this isn't really a hot take. This is just a hot take. In this room, I guess and I'm looking at Zach when I say that that Juan Soto is the best player in the MLB.

Rene:

Who's Juan Soto.

Brett:

He's a dude, I think he's from the Dominican Republic. He just signed the largest contract, I think, in all of sports history. What team To the New York Mets on like a 10-year $725 million contract or something crazy like that Overrated and every penny of that's deserved, in my opinion, for Juan S once.

Zak:

Did he get paid more than Dak? He got paid more than Shohei Ohtani. Didn't he get more than Ohtani? Yeah, Like how.

Brett:

And none of his money is deferred too.

Zak:

But Ohtani is putting up better numbers than him. Ohtani can pitch. How is he better than Ohtani? He's younger. First of all, that has to do with his contract.

Brett:

And you contract, and and you know he struggles defensively, you know but he's a terrible defender.

Zak:

He struggles deep.

Brett:

That's what I said. He struggles defensively but I think you know his offense and then his leadership in the locker room from what I hear you know is really good and he's just a really good guy to build around. You know, he's like 26 years old dude, he can, he it's like almost I don't know what he hit last year but you know has one of the best starts. You know, all time.

Zak:

You know I just like giving you shit about him. He's a great player. I know it's the whole A-Rod him debate.

Rene:

What do you mean? What's the debate?

Zak:

He thinks he's better than A-Rod.

Rene:

What A-Rod do? He just said that he sucks at defense. A-rod was a cheater, yeah, but everybody cheated. Back then, everybody was cheating then right yeah, right yeah.

Brett:

So everybody shoots up heroin in their arm. You should shoot up heroin in your arm.

Rene:

No, but I mean if you're going to judge A-Rod for what he did, because he was on steroids, then you can't give anybody in that entire era credit and that's eliminating a bunch of people.

Brett:

I mean I don't disagree with that take. Now, don't get me wrong, there's, like some really we did in that argument and comparing players from different eras, these guys nowadays that we know of you know they're really strict on juicing and stuff like that, so they're obviously not going to have the same numbers right as those guys back then. So you kind of have to correlate and kind of even it out.

Zak:

How do we know he's not taking something that you can't trace?

Rene:

are the numbers comparable, though like? Like what is what is like?

Zak:

is like a rod's number, like it's way higher than what the numbers, in some numbers, but it should be, though, because he was on juice I mean like let's for instance, like stolen bases and shit, like yeah, absolutely it still should be better, like because he's on.

Rene:

You know it's like I got nitrous. You're running ethanol. You know you should.

Zak:

I should be faster than you, thank you I'm glad you could explain, but I mean I'm leaving, I'm just sure yeah, but actually no the reason why we brought you here today.

Rene:

No, I'm just kidding, but uh, no, but uh, I mean I'm just looking on the outside in I don't. I know who a rod is, because I remember going to the games when I was young about that but I know he was on steroids. I remember that it's like wasn't barryonds in that same era, kind of he had a head the size of a watermelon and shit, barry Bonds, fucking they all they looked like. What was that? You know, nfl Street. They all were real life, built like that.

Brett:

Yeah.

Rene:

They were all really like that, like what was the? There was an MLB Street right, or.

Zak:

MLB Suckfest.

Rene:

Yeah.

Zak:

They were all built like that, like mad, yeah, like punch.

Rene:

it. Couldn't you use like a cheat code and make your guy a mascot or give him a horse head, all kinds of shit, yeah.

Zak:

So that was his hot take, and I don't hate it. I mean, Juan Soto's a great player, but I'd still take Otani over him.

Rene:

So, otani, what's the difference?

Zak:

He's a pitcher and a hitter, but he didn't reach last year's hurt. Yeah, he still plays, but this is uh gonna be my hot take. Go ahead, your dallas mavericks. Yeah, will win the championship this year. Oh my god, this year I mean anthony davis will be healthy after this month is over all right boys, it's been fun max christie is going to develop into a star oh, did you tell his dad?

Rene:

oh wait, that wasn't his dad. No, but wasn't his dad.

Zak:

But, max Christie, we love you. You're invited on If you want to come on a show that has 129 followers. No, I'm just joking, but that's my hot take. What you think about that, I mean it's a hot take Me saying that just took all the energy out the room.

Brett:

I mean it's a hot take, I mean it just depends on injuries and maintain without all the injuries we're out with right now, like lively gafford, you know, anthony davis, and if we can come back and still maybe squeeze our way into the playoffs. You know, on paper and theoretically our defense should be really solid and we should be able to score.

Rene:

so you know, yeah, I mean, if any I'm sorry, if any of anthony's davis's games or anything like that one that he played before he got hurt, then yeah, I think we're gonna be badass. It's just the energy he brought from what I understand, Like he just you know he's got. I mean, first of all he's a veteran, so he's going to know how to improv energy and feel stuff, and he took a team that just had their star player yanked out under him and then made them not be like, oh you know, he took a team of Eeyores and turned them back into Tiggers.

Zak:

Yeah, a got you, but no, like I believe in this team, the way we've been playing with that, I mean there's been even the games we've lost. They've been close since we lost Luka.

Rene:

Yeah, and then also to bounce off of that, another hot take the Cowboys are going to go to the Super Bowl.

Zak:

Okay, now I'm really leaving. No, I'm just joking. Now that, so I disagree.

Rene:

Yeah, me too.

Zak:

Was that even a hot?

Brett:

take Is it a hot take that the Cowboys may not win more than like six or seven games next year?

Zak:

I think that's a hot take. How?

Brett:

is that a hot take. Two of the teams in our division just went to the NFC Championship.

Zak:

But that's only four games. I mean, that's true. We still got fucking 13 other games.

Brett:

And if we go 500,. Yeah, I guess that's a little more than five or six. I six.

Zak:

I just I don't know. I think we'll be a little improved. Nah, you know what, if we're going eight and three, well, I can't even talk.

Brett:

Eight and nine, what are your thoughts on micah parsons potentially being traded? I don't know.

Zak:

You read about that I mean I'm for it if we get two first round picks.

Brett:

And yeah, two first round picks, I'm fine really, I think I'd want like two firsts and maybe like a and something else building project player, you know.

Rene:

Who are they trading, micah?

Brett:

Micah Parsons which, statistically, like if you look inside the numbers, the way he pressures the quarterback, is really, you know, top two or three.

Zak:

He leads yeah 100%.

Brett:

Why are they trading him? Just, he has his own podcast and he talks way too much.

Rene:

Oh, that's what he does. I don't like that talk I mean I?

Zak:

I was just gonna say he went from being my favorite player to me not liking him at one point because of his mouth, to liking him again to now. I'm in deep like before if you would have told me oh, do you want to trade micah? Like two years ago? I would have fucking fought you if you even mentioned in that.

Rene:

But now it's like but yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and wrap that segment up with that and cut probably half of it out, and then we're going to go on to segment three, which is story time and real talk, which real talk we know a little bit about. If we don't give a fuck around here. I'm gonna let zach introduce it, start him with the first bullet all right.

Zak:

So this is story time with ballzack, and I hope you have your hot chocolate ready, because this is gonna be a good one. So, uh, just gonna start it with, you know, a couple questions for our, our guest, brett, the man, the myth, myth, the legend, the gambling addict, the alcoholic and all the above. I'm just joking, we're going to cut that.

Brett:

Yeah, I don't drink alcohol.

Zak:

What's the time? You got into trouble but totally got away with it.

Brett:

OK, so you know I haven't really talked about this, but in my the last two years you know I've been home almost like six months I did two years in prison and there was one time in prison that I almost got in I mean really bad trouble, you know, um, but I ended up like getting away with it. So what happened was one day I mean it was just a normal day, you know, just doing time, you know, and uh, and I don't know, I don't remember the exact day of the week but they did a random cell search at the unit I was at, which was the unit in texas allegedly yeah allegedly should I be talking about no, yeah, go ahead.

Brett:

All the stuff that are located I can cut it out, but yeah, go ahead okay, um, all right, but anyway we were doing a, uh, they were doing a random cell search and then my celly, you know he wasn't in the in the the wing at the time. He went to like school because he did like some kind of culinary class to like, I think, cook or something like that Makes sense. So anyway, so just like you know this is prison. You know there's like convicts in there. So of course inside, you know, there's pretty much anything you can want to get your hands on, like cell phones Allegedly, you know, know, narcotics allegedly, which I mean I was a witness to it.

Brett:

I never will say I participate in these crimes, but anyway, um, one of the vices you know that I had, or like the only vice that I had in prison, where I actually really I started to smoke cigarettes and I never really smoked nicotine before that. So boys, you know they got in the cigarettes, so they made sure we were always good anyway. So I had like probably eight cigarettes, you know, in my, or supposedly in our cell allegedly.

Bob:

That's the time you're looking for.

Brett:

Anyway, um, uh, so he came in here. His name's, uh, we called him I think that was his name allegedly, but we called that motherfucker about 400 pounds, you know. Um, and anyway, uh, he was one of the supposedly yeah, cut the names out because he was one of the laws bringing in. You know, yeah, absolutely, he was one of the guys that brought in the cigarettes for us. So he came and did a shake down in our cell or, and, yeah, me and my celly, so he found the cigarettes, looked at me and said whose are these? And I said they're mine. And he was about to get on the radio and I'm like hey, hey, stop, stop, stop right there. You know, I know, you know what I'm saying, I know what's going on, because he was going to call the sergeants to come to the guy that brought him in yeah, this is well I

Brett:

mean, yeah, this is the guy who, because it's just like a drug chain out here, there's a law that's going to bring it, uh, bring it all into one guy and then he's going to distribute it, you know, and it's it's kind of kept under wraps, so that's how they don't get in trouble, you know. And plus, you got to think these correctional officers, they make probably 12 an hour, 15 an hour. There's no ac in there. They're working 50, 60 hours, not making shit. So any little hustle they could get, they're going to do, of course, you know, trying to survive.

Brett:

So anyway, sorry, I started rambling but, he found him and he was starting to go to his radio and then I was like hey, hey, hey, hey, you know what I'm saying. I know information about you. Why would you put ourselves in a situation like? This basically and he looked at me for about five seconds looked like he wanted to kill me, you know, and ended up he took me, or he didn't take him. He just left in there and walked out of the cell.

Rene:

Yeah, because you told him look, bro, like why are you gonna get us in trouble? Dog, like, what are you doing?

Brett:

exactly, exactly, like you know, like I'm not gonna, I would never tell on anybody because you'd get, you'd get killed for that doing some stuff like that especially messing with people's money.

Rene:

Yeah, it was a 100 reminding him, you know. But we are fucking up, not you not me.

Brett:

I paid the price for it because you know like I don't think with cigarettes you could get time added on or anything, they could just stick he would have gotten in trouble huh, yeah, he, I mean not.

Brett:

I mean I wouldn't have ever told anybody, but he wouldn't have ever came from it. But I would have got sent to what they call G4, which is from minimum security to like a medium security where you're only out of your cell for like six hours a day and that's where a lot of like you know, killing, you know it's where the animals are, you know all sorts of stuff going on, but yeah so. But I did end up paying the price for that, because later that night I got called out to what's called line building Cause I thought I got in trouble or something, and so they called me out there. I went in there. They the one of the lieutenants I think told me to go down this hall and then take a right. And I went down the hall and I took a right and there was right there and another co. They took me inside the cell and probably beat the shit out of me for like 45 seconds saying don't you ever fucking threaten to do some?

Rene:

shit like that. That's worth it. That's worth it. Whooped the shit out of me.

Brett:

But you know what? Ever since then, we respected each other and had no problem you know, he just had to he just, you know, he felt like I kind of dropped my nuts on him, which I kind of had to you know, just to stay safe so he got his little retaliation you know so I gotta like a lot of stories like that I'll just, I'll just think of them on the spot, yeah, but that's, that's, that's crazy.

Brett:

And then also I want to say if y'all have, like, any other questions, I think that would be like relevant for the show I don't mind talking about. Why are you looking at me like that?

Rene:

like some, that was a good story, that was cool, that was a good ass, that was actually good so well, not only that, bro.

Brett:

Like cigarettes aren't a big deal, every they smoke k2. Down there there's people passing out throwing up all over themselves like they're just people. Epilepsy cigarettes aren't nothing, bro, like they you know.

Rene:

well, I mean, it wasn't even that, it's just it was like did they fuck you up? Because I knew they were gonna have to? Because whenever you said they got, looked at you. He's like, yeah, but, but he knew it wasn't worth the like is he going to tell? Is he not going to tell it wasn't worth the risk? So he was like, ah, fuck it, because he's not going to get anything for reporting you.

Brett:

Exactly, and he knew I was a non-player too. I just kind of tried to do my best to stay out the way.

Rene:

So he was like you know what just punch them down for a few seconds and then let them go.

Brett:

Yeah, just to remind me more careful with the squares, basically, yeah, basically just reminding me. Oh, dude, and I can't believe he found where I had him too, because, like, so you gotta think you're in prison, right, there's fucking metal toilets, metal, everything, and there's this big ass light. Well, we ended up getting a white dude worked in the mechanic shop, right, or not the mechanic shop, just the uh, you know maintenance, and he ended up getting the screw out. For me, usually that thing costs like a hundred dollars for one use. Damn, you know like, and this is, you know, commissary, or cash app, whatever you know but, he just let me do it.

Brett:

Um, because we also or well, my celly at the time, you know had a, had a jag, which is a, a cell phone okay so we also had that going too. Um. So we had a little spot in the light and luckily the cell phone wasn't there when they came in, because he rented it out to somebody. Because if you get like a cell phone in there, you can charge like $30 an hour for letting somebody use that for one hour.

Brett:

Yeah, you know I mean there's all sorts of ways to make money. But anyway, they found him in there and he saw that the thing was unscrewed. So we had to find like a new spot to put everything and stuff. But yeah, it was he. He did his thing.

Rene:

I was surprised he found those yeah, well, they, they trained him to do shit like that, like I've seen. Uh, like the fucking shows, like uh. What is it called? The? The fake locked up shit where they lock up a fucking?

Bob:

that one black dude randall yeah yeah, 90 days in.

Rene:

Yeah, that one dude, that one black dude, he was a cop. No, the mexican dude, mexican dude no, no, no, no. There was a black dude that was like one of the first seasons and he was a po officer and they put him in jail and he, like he, ended up becoming like a pod boss like they're real good, yeah yeah.

Zak:

Or like that zach dude the marine I remember did real good too, yeah, the first season the mexican dude abner, whatever name.

Rene:

He did good too he actually they took him out because he smacked somebody, because some dude was testing his gangster and he smacked him yeah, you could tell that dude yeah, and they smacked him that dude was a fucking thug.

Bob:

Yeah, he was definitely a goon.

Rene:

He was like they ain't gonna pay me for this, like I do this for real yeah, but he somebody said something, oh, because he wanted to get a fade.

Rene:

He wanted to get a fade and it was a white dude that was going to fade him up. But the but the because because Abner cut hair and then the white dude cut hair. So he's like, hey, fade me up, fade me up, I'll fade you up. He's like bet, and the other dude was like, well, I'm going first. And it was a white dude telling the white dude, you're going to fade me up first. He's like, well, we were already talking, I don't give a fuck, whatever.

Zak:

No-transcript like yeah, he can't just smack a fucking wood.

Rene:

You know what I mean for real yeah, I mean it's the same thing if the wood would have smacked him. You can't just smack a player, you know what I mean.

Brett:

Any like open hand slap, that's automatic you fight, right? Yeah, you have to if you don't fight, then you're gonna be hoed out yeah, exactly, yeah they.

Zak:

They make the shit out of them so I mean that that was a good story and you know, keeping on the theme of you know prison, since you said, we can ask you whatever. So I mean I know real into gambling, as you have mentioned before, and you said you started gambling in prison, right?

Brett:

oh 100, so you had a bookie that was like in the prison with you or was like the bookie outside no, the bookie, he was in our, our wing, like he lived with us, so like he just had his family had money out there and he was hustling in there so he would run the books. You know so like my day consisted of staying by the tv, the sports tv usually, you know, dude, just josting, you know, passing time, or just seeing what's going on with everybody else. You know, and every day you know whether it's the NBA, even baseball, football.

Zak:

Cricket.

Brett:

No, I'm just joking, it's nothing like that. But just whatever we could see, like the scores on and the lines, he would have, all the lines he would call home, write them out on a piece of paper, you know, and we you do parlays, you know pick three, you know pick four or whatever. The he didn't do single bets, just like pick twos was the lowest you could do odds, because you know he's a prison book, you know. But anyway, uh yeah, and we and he would just pass me a piece of paper every day and I made a lot of, you know, a good amount of money. That was my main hustle in there, you know.

Rene:

So speaking of prison bookies, this episode today is brought to you by bigjohnbookiecom. Yeah, if we got any prisoners, listen, hit me up on your jag and I'm gonna shit.

Zak:

We'll book you in hit me up on your jag, I'm sorry, while you're drinking some hooch. You know we got this do they do that?

Rene:

I heard that they make it out of fermented bread. Oh, oh yeah, fermented bread or potatoes, potatoes and vodka are really good.

Brett:

I think rice too. I never really made it.

Rene:

I got a homeboy. Lewis. There you go, that's the nickname. I'll tell you why later. But he did like eight and a half years. Yeah, really it was crazy to me. You know, usually when people get out of prison or swole or they're physically different, it looks like he didn't go to prison. It looks like they put him in a time capsule. He looked the exact same, he didn't sound different, he didn't look different. I remember him.

Zak:

I think from when I was young.

Rene:

Yeah, that's what I'm saying, Because he got locked up like fuck. It was a long time ago, I think.

Zak:

I could drink, who he kind of reminded me of when I was young, that goldberg from uh mighty ducks. Yeah, that makes sense, I can see that.

Rene:

Yeah, I can see that was his favorite character, really yeah I can see that yeah, he, but that, yeah, he was just the exact same person, but it was it. But it was cool to see him, to see him and be like, hey, yo, you know whatever you want. I was, uh, I was, you know, just like anything you want, and come over and he straight up told me he goes, nah, I'm good and I'm killing my family. That's what's up. And that's when I was like what the fuck is, being straight edge, but I guess you know shit like that happens when you're but I mean nine years.

Brett:

I mean man, he did nine years. It's not a little bit of time. I'm not trying to, you know, I only did two years but and they consider that, just like people, a fucking weekend I would hate it my life.

Zak:

I was gonna say, if you, you know, two years, that's a long time, and I've you know, I felt it, you know I lost two years of my life, you know. So it's, it's too much.

Rene:

I don't want to get in trouble one night. It's too much for me. He's got some crazy stories too.

Zak:

I'll have to have his fat ass on so I have a question what would be the most surprising thing that you could find on, commissary, to just a normal person that you can buy in jail legally? Yeah?

Brett:

um, that's a good question. I don't know if there's like food wise anything out there. I mean, like you got like your meat packs, like chili and stuff like that. They won't allow like cans of chili or nothing, because you just go cut the shit out of somebody with it. You know, yeah, tuna packs. There's like I don't sardines. I don't know if anybody eats that shit, but I never ate. I never ate it. But I don't know sardines. I don't know if anybody eats that shit, but I never ate it. But I don't know about anything surprising. Yeah, I've never even tried that Sardines are hell.

Zak:

I'd rather eat ass than a sardine. You want to clear?

Rene:

a room, out Open a can of sardines.

Brett:

Yeah, Nice and fishy, yeah, I bet your.

Rene:

TH is off, if you ask me.

Bob:

That's a wrap on episode three. That's a wrap on episode three. Huge thanks to brett for being our first guest. Someone had to be the example of what not to do. Make sure to follow us, share the show and come back next time and we have a guest who can actually form complete sentences. Directional chaos is second nature and that is the raffle. Yeah.